Tears In Memory
by Vlaine
Summary: [written before finishing the series; spoilers: entire series] A memory left behind by one that was lost...


**Tears in Memories**

  


Niisan's things were at last sent back from Central. Only a suitcase. That's all that was left of him.

Winry had nearly collapsed at the sight of Brigadier General Roy Mustang and his two senior officers Major Riza Hawkeye and 1st Lieutenant Jean Havoc. Mustang didn't say a thing as he took the suitcase from Hawkeye and held it out to me. I remember how dreary the three figures in blue became as I stared at it.

It was Niisan's, there wasn't a doubt. The suitcase was scratched, dented, torn, and had the occasional scorch marks. Niisan had continuously repaired the thing over and over again during our travels so that he wouldn't have to buy a new one. A waste of time, Niisan had said once with a grin. Maybe it was because he just wanted to hold onto something that acted as a temporary home, I had once thought.

Mustang's lone eye seemed to soften a little at my hesitation. "Alphonse," he said in a low, serious tone before he paused and smiled crookedly. "Would you take your brother's things? I have a feeling he'd hate me and find a way to torment me if I were to keep it."

I choked a bit at that, looking to Winry who had a smile through her tears. Niisan would most definitely have found a way to get Taisa if the man had kept his things. It was to spare the Flame Alchemist from any 'hauntings' by Niisan that I took the suitcase from his hands. "Arigatou..." I managed to say before hesitating, about to address him as I had grown accustomed to.

Mustang seemed to read my mind and smirked. "Might as well call me it," he commented off-handedly, waving a gloved hand at his subordinates. "They still have trouble with the promotion as much as it pains me. You would think I should get some recognition"

Hawkeye stated blankly, "We're the only ones that do not give you recognition, taisa."

Havoc grinned around his cigarette.

I strained to put a smile on my face. "Arigatou, taisa," I said before looking to Winry again and then turning back to ask, "Would you like to"

The Flame Alchemist shook his head, a solemn look on his face. "I'm afraid that I must decline," he said before glancing behind me and nodding his head slightly. "My regards to your grandmother, Miss Rockwell."

Winry didn't respond, and I answered, "Of course, taisa..."

Mustang looked back to me before giving his typical smirk. "It's good to see you're doing well, Alphonse. Keep safe." And with that, he turned and walked off.

But it wasn't _'just like that.'_ The dark sky above us decided then that it was time to open and shed its tears on this depressing scene. Only as the rain fell did I start to cry, clutching Niisan's suitcase as I watched the three officers walk to the black car that sat in wait for them. It was then that I noticed the ever-so-slight limp in Taisa's steps. Only then did I see Hawkeye place her hand supportingly on his left shoulder.

I suppose it was then that I realized that Niisan had been gone for so long. That even though things had changed so drastically, there were things that seemed still from the past. The last remark from the Flame Alchemist proved that much.

"Alphonse!" I strained to hear and see him over the rain and tears. "If you think Hagane would like to hear from me, tell him that being so high up must be getting to his head and that I'll eventually be sure to raise his standards to a height he'd have to climb for!"

Almost on cue, thunder rumbled overhead, and Mustang laughed loudly before climbing into the car.

That had been three days ago.

Last night, I finally decided to open Niisan's suitcase. It was something I did at night because I didn't want Winry to know. She had had a hard time with Taisa's arrival. There hadn't been a need to worry her, to make her hurt more.

The last thing I expected to be in the suitcase was a blue uniform. Confused, I picked it up to study it, frowning. Niisan never had a military uniform that I knew of. So why...did the rankings claim he had been a Sergeant Major? I looked back into the suitcase only to see rips in the lid's lining. I was shocked to read what the tears said:

_Edward Elric  
Fullmetal Alchemist  
Dog of the Military_

That suitcase now sits in the corner of a closet. Winry never has to know what I saw. It hurts enough that Niisan carried that burden on his own. That I had only saw the surface of his self-loathing during our journeys. And yet, even with this painful reminder of the unfairness of his sacrifice, I don't shed any tears.

My tears are with the rain. It had been the only way I could cry when I still had Niisan with me.

  


* * *

_Author's Notes:_ Yeah. Okay. Haven't finished the anime or the manga, so I don't know the entire truth of the ending. So you can either take this as in Al (starting again from age 11) eventually remembers what happened after the end of the series or he does remember and he is an older age. Take your pick. 

Oh, and "Tears" doesn't necessarily have to mean the ones you cry with. I love English words that are spelt the same but have two different meanings. So much puns.

And the uniform idea was because I'm pretty sure that all military peeps get a uniform even if they refuse to wear it. Lameness, I know. Bah. Who cares?

Fic was inspired by always seeing that blasted suitcase but never seeing what was in it. Also, inspired by the "Don't forget" engraved into Ed's watch. Seemed to be a way he'd remember his burdens. Carry them around with a written reminder for whenever he opened them.


End file.
